Graduation Goggles

Now that I've officially declared I'm leaving San Francisco, and officially have a destination I'm aiming for I've been hit with a serious case of graduation goggles.

You know, that phenomenon right before you leave something where suddenly you can only remember  the all the good things you'll  be giving up.

I drive home now and think of all the fun things I did last year.  You know, when I had friends here.  Or all the cool places there are to go to that I'll never go to again.  The restaurants I love, the food truck parks.  Hardly Strictly.  My CSA.  Smitten's and Bi-Rite ice cream. Finding day of activities on Funcheap. The Academy of Sciences.  The street art. My really nice job with really nice kids in a really nice neighborhood at a really nice school.  The sunsets and temperate weather.  The pastel buildings. Everyday it's something different.  Something that I'm agreeing to give up to move.

I literally have to remind myself that I've been miserable here for months.  That I have no friends out here and I feel listless and disconnected and everyone I love is too far away.  These memories aren't enough to keep me here.  The cities potential, as it were, isn't enough, because the reality of the situation is that I need to leave.   

Sometimes when I start to feel this way, I get online and bury myself in New York theoreticals.  The could-be's of NYC.  This morning, after a frustrating couple of hours trying to figure out interstate reciprocity policies, I decided to make myself some breakfast and almost died when I realized that year-round locally grown organic produce really wasn't gonna happen in a state with regular seasons.  So I spent the next hour researching CSAs in New York and felt a little bit better when I felt like I figured out how they worked.

I know this move is for the best.  But part of me wishes I didn't have to do it.

On an unrelated note check out my new dress.  And my grumpy face apparently:

Mel Moves East

I'm sure at this point it's no secret that I plan to leave San Francisco.  I love it here, but I'm lonely.  I need to be further East so I can visit my family more often.  So I can see my friends more often.

I'm looking for a place with all the liberal hipster foodtruck bullshit I've come to love about San Francisco, but a little more accessible.  Sometimes living here feels like living in a bubble.  Like I'm seeing the city, but never interacting with it.  Especially this year, since I spend most of my time in my car or my classroom.  In fact, I'm willing to say that San Francisco and I had one really great year, but now our relationship is over and it's time to break up.

After a tumultuous break of cancelled plans and sterile nights, I think I've figured out where I'm going to go.   We all know I was set on Austin for awhile, but after my moving partners pointed out they were staying put and William practically pleaded for his space, I decided to set my sights elsewhere.  I thought I'd move straight to Arlington, but every time I go back, I'm reminded why I left.  A little bit of texting and "don't settle, Mel"-ing later, I made a jump I didn't think I'd make until I was much older.  But here I am.  Pretty determined.

And the winner is…

http://www.beckermanphoto.com/category/new-york-city-photography

Part of me feels like this idea is really stale.  Of COURSE you want to move to New York City, doesn't everyone?  Part of it sounds juvenile.  You know you first thought of this when you were twelve, right?  Part of it sounds terrifying. 8.337 MILLION people, that's basically 10 times the size of San Francisco. But part of it feels exciting and fresh and just what I need.  And I'm trying to focus on that.  So in honor of such tremendous decision making...

NYC Ballet Presents "New Beginnings"