Creating Roots

I've noticed, that when moving to a new place full of new people there is this weird period of time where you think you are making friends and you are getting to know people, but in reality that's not happening at all.  Because one day later you meet someone who is just instantly your very best friend and everything becomes easy.  You stop worrying about "what am I going to do this weekend" and how you are going to meet people.  You have this friend that you feel comfortable calling up and being like "I'm gonna come hang out".  You don't think about what to do, it just happens.  You're just comfortable.  In college it was Nate, and in grad school it was Toph.  I was putting all this energy into getting to know people, and going out, and then I met these boys and suddenly it was easy.  I had THE friend, so I had friends.  I had plans.  

Right now I'm in that weird transition stage where I am trying very hard to make friends.  I can tell it's not working. I go out with my co-workers and we either just miss the mark or I'm worried it's some kind of date (depending on the co-worker), Bobby has become a casual day-date kind of friend, and with everyone else it's clear I'm just passing through their well-establish circle of friends.  "Oh hi, this is Melissa, she's new here".

I'm not exactly stressed out about this because I know one of these guys, these key friends are on their way. But at the same time when I turn down a party because I don't want to go as my co-worker's date, or I come home to an apartment of closed doors, it's hard not to miss the ease of those relationships.  That say-whatever-you're-thinking attitude: be it "Your chili looks gross", "This isn't going to happen between us", or simply "What are we doing tonight?".

Before I moved out here Andy asked me something along the lines of "How do you create roots?"  The best I can guess is to just sit back and let them grow naturally.  But sometimes being patient is hella annoying.