That which I despise

For some time, when I lived in D.C., I dated a young man named Tyler.  Tyler was an ACTOR.  Someone who was trying to make a career of being an actor.  And as such.  He had no time.  For anything.  Especially me.  We always talked about hanging out, but in the whole of our time together we only went on like two dates.  To be fair there was also a blizzard on and he lived an hour away in Silver Spring (and maybe he just didn't like me), but like there was always the incessant excuse of "I have rehearsal" or "I have a show".

As an actor myself, I understood it and even tolerated it for awhile.  But eventually I was like "you know what, I give up, this clearly isn't happening."

I find career actors grating.  They are too focused and too cold.  All they see is that next gig, that next project, that next networking opportunity.  They are nice enough, and well intentioned, but it's clear where they focus.  Their career, not forming genuine bonds with people.  And that has always been so important to me (misanthropic as I am).

And here I am trying to make plans with Cute Luke (DATE PLANS MIND YOU) and I hear myself uttering that tired, old theatre platitude: "I can't, I have rehearsal".

AND THEN CUTE LUKE BREAKS MY HEART BY SAYING:
"Just because I live downstairs, doesn't mean you should feel obligated to say yes if I ask you out for drinks...."

Oh man.  I FELT LIKE SUCH AN ASS.  I have become that which I despise: an actor without enough time to spare on something so silly as connecting to another (totally cute) human being.