Women in (Non-Union) Hollywood

I have (and hate) to admit that I never really believed it when people said there were no good roles for women in film.  I'd sit there watching Hilary Swank tear it up in something mind-blowing like Boys Don't Cry and say "Why here's a fantastic project for women!"

What, of course, I was naively ignorant of was the (should have been obvious) fact that unless you are an oscar winning actress, those roles aren't anywhere near you.

For example, this afternoon I went to an audition for a character with such a dynamic description as "Early 20's Gorgeous, Vicious character, open to adventures" .  

So of course, the first thing I do when I walk into the room for this improvised audition is ask, "Could you tell me a little bit more about this character?  Like what kind of person do you think she is?"

I kid you not, the director's face went blank.  "Uhh,"  he paused to think. "You know, just a party girl."

Now I need you to know that standing there, half an hour after my audition appointment, I was PISSED to hear that.  First, I was PISSED that the answer he gave me was basically code for "hot girl".  Then, I was PISSED that he had obviously never thought about this character as a individual.  Finally, I was PISSED that he clearly hadn't heard that question once all day.  I mean come on other ladies!

I don't submit for those kinds of auditions.  I deliberately avoid anything with phrases like "hot" "bikini body" "sexy" "must be comfortable wearing…" (trust me, that sentence never ends with 'comfy muumuu').  I don't want to be involved in projects that view women as objects to attain.  Or working with people who use women as set dressing.  I don't want to build a career off being a man's accessory.

As much as I feel like I arrived in L.A. late, like I should have started this career right out of college, I'm glad I didn't.  When I was 21, my looks were too important.  Too much of my personal character description.  I wouldn't have been as discerning.  Like all those other women, I wouldn't have walked into the audition asking "Who is this person?"

We're all so desperate to work that we accept parts like that.  Submit to roles like that.  Perpetuate these character types.  I just hope I can have a better legacy.