Oh man. I love
crying. I really do. It feels great.
After work today, I drove straight to the movie theater for the 6:45 showing of the Titanic re-release. I cried for a solid hour at least. It took
every fiber of my being to refrain from audibly
weeping. And I feel
AWESOME. Like all I want to do
right now is go back and watch it again.
People may knock Titanic
for being cheesy or whatever it is that they hate about it, and you know
what? Fine. But I love it.
I went to see it the first time on, like, maybe the day it
opened. Just me and my dad. We’ve never done a lot of stuff
together, so that always made it cool.
It was probably the first movie that I ever cried watching
(empathy never exactly came naturally).
I don’t think I cried when Jack dies, but when the old couple holds each
other as their bedroom is slowly flooded, and when the mother tucks her
children in and tells them a story.
Those always gets me.
And then it became such a big part of the culture of that
school year. My Heart Will Go On was like my 5th grade theme
song: everyone wanted to sing it
for the talent show (to the point that no
one was allowed to sing it), we learned the tune on our recorders in music
class, and I serenaded my shower walls with it endlessly.
Leonardo DiCaprio was one of my first real, grown-up crushes. I read biographies of him, collected
magazines, watched all of his movies, and caught every episode of Growing Pains he’d ever been in. I fantasized about meeting boys with
his floppy haircut. To this day,
he remains one of my favorite actors.
Watching him on screen makes me want to move to L.A. and make amazing
films. Only him and Hilary Swank
have that effect on me.
And I can’t help but wonder how much my obsession with
having red, curly hair (a desire I can remember having as far back as 6th
grade) is a direct result of Rose’s auburn tresses.
Watching it this time through, I caught more than I ever had
before. Mostly in the form of
romance and sexual references. For
a movie I love so much, I honestly haven’t watched it that many times (it is 3 hours long). This might have been like the first
time I’ve watched it all the way through since I was like 13.
When they are in the car, and Rose says, “Jack, you’re
trembling.” He suddenly looked so
much younger than her. And that
line, just wow. I can’t explain it, but that line just really humanizes
him for a moment. Makes that
moment seems so much more real. The
movie is cheesy at points, it is corny. And man, that line is
hella cheesy, but it just hit home with
me. It resonated. It struck a chord. It was poignant.
I've had trouble stomaching sappy romances since December. The last Sarah Dessen novel I read was downright unbearable. An understandable and often welcome side-effect of a break-up is that I tend to become romantically dormant for a significant amount of time afterwards. That emotional side of it all becomes incredibly hard to take. And I'll admit I didn't get as swept up in Jack and Rose as I wanted, but I keep picturing that moment when Rose has just jumped back onto the ship and Jack, flooded with relief and fear, is kissing her and saying "You're so stupid. Why'd you do that, huh? You're so stupid, Rose." Like, Oh. My. God. About to cry again.
Anyway, seeing it tonight was everything I wanted it to
be. And I’m glad I spent that $20
bucks. I feel awesome. Just awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment