Incomprehensible

There are a lot of reasons not having adult friends sucks.  There are a lot of reasons I am tired of my job.  But the thing that's been grinding on my recently is vocabulary.  I have a large vocabulary (and misuse words like a Shakespearean clown).  It's a quality I love both in myself and in others (big vocab: huge turn on).

Kids, by nature of their age, have small vocabularies, no matter how brilliant they are.  They may know some buzzwords that blow you away (algae, hypothesis, ungulate), but other than that they are severely limited.  When you are addressing a kindergartner, there are only so many words you can use and so far that they can infer.

I had never really noticed before how I slice up my vocabulary when I talk to my kids.  I know sometimes I fumble for words, but mostly it comes naturally.  That is until I stopped having adult conversations all together.  Since moving to California, 90% of the conversations I have are with people aged 5 to 8.

And I'm getting tired.  It's exhausting to talk to them "like kids"; I find myself giving up.  I long ago dropped the sugary sweet Kindergarten teacher lilt because it hurts my voice.  But now I'm losing the clear, concise Kindergarten teacher vocab.

Instead of saying, "Johnny is trying to say he's sorry and make you feel better." I just go, "Johnny's just trying to rectify the problem".

Instead of saying, "Yes, Billy is crying, but he's not bothering anyone."  I say, "Don't worry, Billy's crying is totally benign."

It's led me to the strange realization that the children I raise will either be awkward elementary school pariahs who spout incomprehensible words like "conundrum" and "superfluous" OR they won't be able to understand a word I say until they are 14.