Big Picture

I may have written this post before.  Or else, I've just thought about it a lot.  Sorry if it's a repeat.

You never know when you meet somehow if they'll be important in your life.  Sometimes you think you know, and just as often you are wrong.


When I met Nate, all I knew was that he reminded me of my friend Richie from high school.  He cracked a lot of a jokes and was easy to talk to.  If you had told me he'd become my longest running, most reliable friendship, I'd have laughed in you face.  Especially after that first year when I started getting SO DAMN MAD AT HIM ALL THE TIME.  But here we are.  A year and a half from our 10 year friendiversary.  Practically Ted and Marshall.


Or Andy.  Sure he seemed cool.  But when we first met, I just wanted to hang out at a party with him.  It didn't really seem like we had more going for us than that.  I had just come off of a bad relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious.   But then he wanted to go out.  And I was sooooo ambivalent towards him.  So not sure what or why I was bothering with this kid.  He seemed so serious about me.  So into me.  It was off-putting.  I kept him at arms length.  If you were to tell me then, that whole first 6 months or so, that he would be the first and only person I've ever seriously thought about forever with, it wouldn't have made sense.

You couldn't have convinced me I'd hold onto him so long after we broke up.  I still can't make sense of the years I kept that sweater in my closet.

And then there was Luke.  When we met, I was certain he was important.  And he wasn't.  Not at all.

Or Willow.  Same thing.  Another grain of sand slipping through the fingers of time.

You just don't know.  You don't know who will last.  Who will matter.

I still wonder if Nate and I will be friends in another 8 years.  I wonder if Andy and I will ever be friendly again.  I wonder if anyone else floating around me will be more or less important than I realize.  I guess I'll have to wait and find out.