Lullabye

In the right mood, music can be very visceral for me.  It evokes certain emotions, memories, seasons, moods, etc.  Since Thursday I've felt like I've been stuck on a loop.  Everything has been harkening back to senior year of college.  That party, that girl, that drunken exchange, the way I've felt about it the two days since. It's been rattling around my brain, buzzing around my body.  It's like it's senior year again... mentally. So when I came up to my lonely apartment, cold, hungry, feeling bottled up, I knew, I just KNEW, I that I needed to get it out.  Cry like I haven't since being in California.  So in keeping with this senior year loop, I put on Billy Joel's Lullabye, a song I listened to ad nauseam after breaking up with Andy.  With 159 plays it's held the top spot in my 25 most played songs on iTunes since 2009.  Once Dan actually went so far as to actually ask me to stop playing it on repeat.  It did the trick.  I didn't even know what I was crying about.  I just sat down on my kitchen floor and tried to expel the feelings I've been holding onto for the past 2 days.  Didn't work.  After about one time through I became very angry, changed the song to the second most played Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley, and promptly switched it again.  Who knows what I'm feeling or why. But hey, at least I got 3:34 minutes of tears before moving on, and that's something I've needed for months.