Once when my friendship with Nate was still fairly young, he confessed to me that he had feelings for his friend Heather. He had known Heather all of freshman year and they were pretty good friends. He told me that she had just been set up with some guy that their friends knew. They hadn't gone out yet, so I pushed Nate to ask her out himself before she ended up in a relationship with this other dude and the chance was lost forever.
I'll be honest, I knew she'd say no.
Nate's a smart guy; I bet he knew too.
But Nate had a problem with... pining. He'd fall for a girl and never let her know. He'd follow her around and be friends with her and pretend to be happy when she dated other guys and spend all his time with her and tell all his friends about her, but never make a move. It was frustrating to watch, and frustrating to be on the receiving end of. So when he told me about Heather, I knew he had to act. Even though I was pretty sure that he'd be turned down, and he'd be crushed, and it would suck, I felt like it was important for him in the long run. I felt like it was important for him to go out of his comfort zone and finally, FINALLY, let a girl know how he felt. Get the experience of actually
telling her. Instead of trying to convince her that his feelings didn't exist or didn't matter.
I don't know if this was the right thing to do, but it seemed necessary at the time. I mean, I still think it was necessary, but in retrospect I know it could have had devastating consequences. But he's a tough shit and handled the rejection like a champ. And maybe I knew that about him. Or maybe I didn't, and just didn't think it all the way through. I don't know. I still think this way, I think. Like... even if an experience is going to fucking SUCK. And you can see that it's not going to work out... there are some mistakes that you just need to make. Like it's better to do something that ends up hurting you but leaves you a little more experienced, than one that lets you stay timid and what-if-ing.
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