Finite

I think I have limited space in my brain for attention.  Second semester junior year I was taking this Scene Design class.  Notoriously time consuming and intellectually intensive I had no worries that I'd be in it to win it.  But then I met Andy.

I met Andy and suddenly I didn't give a shit about Scene Design.  Staying in PBK to craft models until midnight seemed like a huge waste of my time.  Stress I shouldn't be allowing myself to feel considering how damn GOOD I would feel if I just went on a date instead.  I did fine in the class, but I definitely didn't live up to my potential.  I was also taking an acting class, admittedly more interesting and more my speed, but I'd blow off scene rehearsals all the time.  I'd get so pissy at my scene partner for just existing and expecting me to show up.  Maybe that's what's happening with my job right now.  I don't hate it, I just don't have the space for it in my brain right now.

But I was feeling this way before the break.

And I was asking myself if I was happy with this job in December.

And I balked at the idea of getting an even higher degree in education in November.

So maybe I really am unhappy in my job.

It's not like I've ever done or been interested in scene design again since college.  So maybe this limited attention just weeds out the things that wouldn't make the cut in the long run anyway.