A World Full of Phonies

Once again I am about to walk into my class without planning any lessons.  It's okay.  I didn't plan a single one last year.  I figured I'd do something new this year in the hopes of shaking things up enough to convince me that I actually liked my job.  It didn't work.  I don't.  No matter what I plan, it doesn't erase the fact that I spend 12 hours a day out of the city.  4 hours in Starbucks. 5 hours watching kids play. And only 1 hour actually teaching (MAX).  Let's also add the fact that I spend about $240 bucks a month to commute.  Let's also count in the amount of money I spend in Starbucks a day (roughly $4).  And if I get lunch that's about $8 more a day.  Start doing the math.  Let's also talk about how if I got a job in the city as a teacher's aide I'd be making the same amount of money and saving all that money I just mentioned.  I also eat horribly and less regularly being out of the house for 12 hours a day.  I come home totally drained and don't do anything in the way of errands, chores, or friends, and don't cook dinner usually until about 8.  Let's talk about this real quick:  Bagel at 7 am.  Lunch-ish somewhere between 11 and 1.  Dinner at 8.  Do the math real quick.  That's anywhere from 7 to 9 hours with only about 200 calories in between (pilfering snacks from the kids or eating what's left of my lunch).  And how often do I exercise?  Once a week.  Saturday night when I load my body with toxins and dance myself to exhaustion.  I'm not reading very much anymore and I've dyed my hair brown.  I have no interest in men or acting.  Going into work this past week has been near impossible.  I feel listless.  This shit is dragging me down.  I need to make drastic changes in my life.  I know where this will lead.