Sunday, February 10, 2013

Stability

I had this dream last night that it was my last day of college.  It wasn't really like my last day of college, it was definitely a dream, not a memory.  We were in this parking garage with this huge van that I apparently owned and was packing up all on my own.  I was with this girl, let's call her M because I actually found her quite irritating in college and it's not classy to bad-talk someone on the internet.  So I guess M was my roommate or best friend or something and she was packing up her stuff somewhere else and just messy crying because it was all over.  I started to tear up then, but told myself that I was going to finish packing first.

In that hazy "what the fuck was I dreaming about" moment after I woke up, I found myself longing for stability.  I remembered how I hated moving every year, but I also remembered always coming back to the same wonderful community, even if I was in a different building.  I haven't had that feeling since graduation.  That sense of community.  Except in grad school, that was a pretty solid feeling time as well.

I just want things to stabilize.  I want to find an apartment I love and stay in for a couple years.  I want to find friends I love that stick around for a couple years.  I want to find a person I love that sticks around for a couple years.  I want to find a job I love that I hang around in for a couple years.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, even if they're not RIGHT THERE physically, you know there's plenty of people who love you and will for at least a couple years.

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  2. That whole last paragraph: just YES.

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