Introverted

TED Talk- "The Power of Introverts" Susan Cain

For whatever reason, for the past couple months, introversion has been a hot topic on the internet.  At least once a week it feels like someone posts some new something or other on "How to Treat Your Introvert" or "You know you're an introvert when..." or this video here.  Whatever.  I've just got to say:  I hate them.

I hate them.

Stop victimizing me.

Stop telling people how to act around me.

How to treat me.

What I supposedly need from you.

You know what?

I may be an introvert, but I'm not weak.  At all.  I am a grown-ass adult and I have the power, to say to another human being, without being awkward, or a total dick, that "I love you, but I need to just spend a night in."  Or "I'm so glad we went to that event, but man, am I drained."  Or "Lemme just think about it."  I can do those things.  And I don't need endless articles on the internet to coddle me and tell me it's okay that sometimes during a party I go to the bathroom just to look at my reflection and take a break from conversation.  

I mean, seriously. The Dr. Carmella's Guide to Understanding the Introverted one is the worst.  The second half is this step-by-step guide to interacting with an introvert.  Like I am not a fucking bear in the wild, you don't need a guide.  Just talk to me like a human and I PROMISE I will talk back.  In fact,  if you want to interact with, do the opposite of what this says.  Talk.  A lot.  And press for gossip.  I love to gossip.

 And this one makes it look like I could give a raging shit about social interactions. Can I tell you guys a secret?  I love concerts and crowded coffee shops and dance parties with actual people instead of a cat.

 I'm sorry.  Am I a new puppy?

Okay okay.  At least one had to get it right.  This happens to me all the time.  The number of times Andy looked at me with genuine concern in his eyes...

"Are you having fun?"

"... I'm drinking my beer, aren't I?  I'm in a conversation.'"

"Yeah but... you haven't said anything yet."

"I haven't?"

The point is, I am a competent human capable of expressing my needs.  Treat me like one, and I'll do the same for you, intro-, extro-, or ambiverted.