Today was so hard. The first day of camp, I didn't really know what to expect, and didn't feel like I had enough information to start off with. A personal pet peeve, and sure fire way to put me in a bad mood: make sure I don't understand what's going on. I had planned to come in an hour early to see the space and talk to my boss (he never called me this weekend to talk shop like he was supposed to), but when I woke up at 7:15, I knew I hadn't set the right alarm.
I'm running so late that I don't have time to put air in my tires or have a chill ride on my bike: I'm seriously doubting my decision to bike to work when I can barely make it up the first hill. And, oh god, I'm sweating already, maybe I'll ride the bus tomorrow.
When I got to the school, I was so disoriented. I had never seen the campus before and I couldn't figure out where everything was. "Thundercat, what are you doing wandering around? Where's your walkie talkie? Go show kids where to go!"
"I don't know where to go!" I actually said. "Or where to get a walkie-talkie for that matter." You know I'm stressed if I'm being snarky with people I barely know.
The day starts off with "assembly". It was supposed to be led by the director, but the kids are huddled against the wall, striking Joe Cool poses and refusing to sing songs that the other counselors are leading. When the director comes in, he sits them on the ground and gives a boring lecture on responsibility.
When I meet my group, I only had to learn three names. Three "too cool for camp" names. It was impossible to keep so cheery when these kids are determined against all hope to be low energy and disinterested. I wanted to scream at them.
When we were out at the playground after snack, a very angry Chinese woman, to me "No, no, no. This is my time, you can't be out here!"
"Okay, we'll go inside," I say.
But she keeps talking, "This is my time 11:20 to 11:30, we are out here, Chinese School. My time."
"Yes," I say.
"You can't be out here. My students very little. My time. You go inside."
"Yes." I say more curtly.
"You must be careful, can't be out here, they are too litt-"
"YES. We are going inside."
"--tle. Chinese school is outside now, you go inside now."
"I understand that. We did not know that this was your time, we are going inside."
"You go inside now."
The rest of the day was a tangled, unorganized mess. My lack of information on how the camp day was supposed to go, my campers lack of interest, and my director's persistent messages on the Walkie-Talkie were getting me beyond worked up.
I ended the day feeling deflated and irritated. I needed to sing in the worst way.
Luckily my wonderful former roommate was in town. We hadn't hung out in over a year, so it was pretty awesome to get dinner and catch up. Also, by some strange twists of fate, I found out that one of my best friends from 8th grade is working at my camp. She's been living in SF for a year and a half and during the school year she about 3 quarters of a mile from my house. Honestly, both of those encounters were pretty surreal, but welcome after a day of chaos.
Honestly, today was about a lack of control. Things didn't go the way I wanted them to, and I didn't have enough information to have a better grasp of what the situation was and how to make it better.
Today is just one of those days that you wish you weren't coming home to an empty house.
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