I would like to take a moment to speak to the misconception that Atheism is somehow a lack of religion.
I've been raging for years against the idea that Atheism somehow equates to a lack of morality, but this isn't about that (if you would like to read a beautiful fantasy series that touches on that, however, I suggest the Phillip Pullman His Dark Materials trilogy). It's more about the idea that if you are atheist it means that you don't think about religion. Or that you lack Faith. I'm talking about faith with a capital F. A trust in your beliefs against all other hypotheses. And against all the unanswered questions associated with your beliefs. Against all the unknowns. Atheism is not a lack of Faith.
So first of all, I'm just gonna throw out there that I'm back on OkCupid. On OkC there's this section where you can put your religion and how serious you are about it. Recently I got a message from a guy who listed "Atheist and laughing about it". Upon further investigation, I saw that not believing in God is actually a pretty big deal to this guy. Like he would prefer to have a partner who didn't believe, and at one point he makes a flippant, degrading remark about the Bible. Like understanding his atheist beliefs is an expectation. As well as not understanding Christian beliefs. Like, it seems to me, if he was really "laughing about it", he wouldn't feel the need to put down some else's religious texts, or have those expectations of his significant other.
I'm gonna throw out there that I'm not "laughing about" my beliefs. I'm very serious and conscious of what they are, how they change, and how they interact with others' beliefs. I love talking about them and developing them. I struggle with them. They make me mad and uncomfortable and scared as shit sometimes, but they are the only ones I can make any sense of, so they are my beliefs. So you know, maybe I'm taking all this personally.
I mean, sure, some people don't think about their beliefs. I can buy that. They don't take the time to process them very often. But even if they are these stone-cold scientists that just "know", they are still placing their Faith in the fact that science is the be-all end-all. That it has all the answers. And you are trusting that if you die you will decompose and know no more. You are trusting that there is nothing there to judge you for your sins. There is no return to cognizance or altered consciousness. You are trusting along with so many other people that you've got it right. That's faith. That's religion. That's that.
I get hella bummed when I talk to Atheists who can't see the merit in other religions. Who can't relate to them because they think they are somehow outside of it. Above it. People think that Christians are the only ones who can be self-righteous. There are some fucking self-righteous Atheists out there. Who think they have figured it out.
And then here I am being totally self-righteous. As if I've got it all figured out. So like disclaimer: I might be wrong. You might not agree with what I wrote up there. Cool. You might agree. Cool. If you wanna talk about it for either reason, call me. I have bored Abigail to tears prattling on about this all year. Nate and I have had this conversation so many times by now that he could say my lines and I could say his. I think about this shit ALL the time. I'm willing to admit that I've had a crisis of faith this year. And because of that, because of all that talk and struggle, my faith has changed. Not drastically, but significantly. So please, let's keep the dialogue open. And I'll try not to be self-righteous.
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